help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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