After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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