put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize