Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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