I am puke
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Pants are for mortals
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
