I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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