South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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