I want to walk on stilts...naked
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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