he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The Olympian is in my bed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
