i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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