i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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