too bad you live with your parents still
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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