this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
