walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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