In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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