Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
