hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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