she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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