Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
