just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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