I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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