big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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