is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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