I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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