Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize