no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
