that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
