I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
