she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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