You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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