Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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