i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
