i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
