does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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