whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
