Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
