Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
