Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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