Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
