So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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