Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
