Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
