I need to stop coming to work sober
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
