I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
