problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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