Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
