Swine flu. Run for my life!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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