Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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