Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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