he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
