she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
