I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
