I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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