I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
