It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Randomize
