WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
