Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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