R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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