I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
