I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
