He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
