people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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