Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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