I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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