Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
