he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
