Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
